Lost in Your Work? Take a Break and Find Yourself

Last year I had low self-confidence and was very unhappy. I hid behind my work, spending long hours there, often 7 days a week. But the low self esteem and the lack of work-life balance meant that I wasn’t succeeding at work or elsewhere  and I stopped communicating and even socializing.  I knew it was time for change. 

I had savings, a low fixed overhead and it was finally time to take advantage of being single with no children. I felt empowered rather than down and applied for a sabbatical. The only thing to lose was 4 months’ salary.  The upside was freedom, time for reading, writing,  cooking,  entertaining, traveling,  meeting new people and free-wheeling without too much of a plan.  My employer offered me a new role on my return but even if they had not, i would still have gone.  It wasn’t  ‘Eat Pray Love’ at all.  I needed to be with people, let my hair down, make new friends and mend existing relationships.

My sabbatical activities connected me with people i don’t usually meet:  literary, philanthropic and artistic people – we  partied hard together, often to the point of exhaustion.  Some of the projects i set in motion will continue after my return home, which means that I will have to disconnect from work when i leave the office.   What else did I do besides have lots of much needed down-time?

• · Attended a travel writing course in Scotland (with 12 brilliant aspiring writers) ;
• · Took modules of a History of Asian Art course which helped my travel writing
• · Researched middle eastern art history and poetry
• ·Helped in my local church to feed about 35 homeless people once a week – this really made me appreciate how good life is with  a  job and a home
• · Set up a committee to host a large charity event this summer, to raise money for girls’ education in a developing country
• · Travelled to Turkey, Thailand and Florida (and escaped the worst European winter since records began)
• · Attended a story telling workshop & a seminar on food in literature (here I met writers who really inspired me)
• · Read from my own work on stage ( a first for me) which drew great praise
• · Changed my diet to avoid fried food and desert, and got used to lower portion sizes
• · Exercised alot, and improved my swimming technique and stamina
• · Wrote brief articles on entrepreneurs and philanthropists who inspired me and on the cities i visited (after 2 years of no writing)
• · Undertook research and wrote an abstract for a book that i would like to write over the next few years.

“How was your stop time” our Chairman asked me when i returned to the office.  He was passing in the corridor so i needed to summarize,  “It was everything it could have been”, was my reply.

I wished I could have done more.  Not planning too much meant I was always open to distraction, but spontaneity was itself a great pleasure. Everyone close to me knew how badly I needed the break.  Some opened their homes to me, often for weeks at a time. Nobody criticised my decision to stop working. A few men i knew came looking to spend time with me.  It just kind of happened, in different parts of the world and the great thing was that I had the freedom to be there.  At the end of the four months, the man i am most attracted to is the most complex (he closed our last call with ‘Love you lots’ in the most casual way and he does not live in the same country),  but that is something I need to address in the months ahead. My relationships with many friends were restored and people constantly commented on how happy I looked. The photos show it – my body is straight, my head is high and there is an ear to ear smile.  Now that I have returned to the office,  I can still see those physical characteristics as I stride down the corridor and catch my reflection in the glass partitions.

I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends, but only I could make the call about what to do to try to change my life.  On the surface it looks like my life is just the same now that i am back at home,  but inside I am clearer about what I need to do next and change will happen, over the next 12 months.